Are you so frustrated in your relationship that you think filing a divorce case will resolve your ordeal? Have you even filed a divorce case already, thinking that it is the only escape route from your marital crisis? As a counsellor, I would like to share with you some of the vital things you have possibly left undone in your relationship and how you can keep your marriage.
Why Many Couples Are Wrong
If I may ask, do you even know the essence of marriage and what it takes to make it work in the first place? So many people expect so much from a love relationship when they have so little to contribute to its survival. As a result, when crises arise, their minds get choked with worries, fears and aches. They feel that their spouse must have been the causative agent of the problem.
The Minor Needs for a Good Marriage
To keep your marriage, you must come to term with the fundamental principles of interpersonal relationships and the concepts of marriage. More often than usual, many people today get married at a tender age when they are not fully mature for a relationship commitment. Now, let’s see these possibilities:
• Physical maturity: in terms of age or physiological characteristics, you may be mature for marriage, but it is not a yardstick that you can manage a home.
• Intellectual maturity: through education or informative learning, you may have a good career, and even if you are a professor, it does not necessarily mean that you can handle a relationship.
• Financial maturity: There are many homes that have marital crises. This is not as a result of insufficient cash to meet their needs, but because of some other reasons that go down to their personality.
The Major Needs of a Good Marriage
If you want to keep your marriage from divorce, you need to check for emotional maturity and mental maturity. These are the 2 keys that are a reflection of your whole personality. They define your level of character; they reveal your mindset, attitude, behaviour, and disposition towards other people. How do you behave towards your spouse?
How do you react to issues in your interactions?
Let me state it emphatically that a blissful marriage is a function of two good characters. If indeed you started your relationship with true love, you should have observed certain areas of weaknesses in your spouse, provided he/she was not in pretence.
Even, if your spouse later develops a bad habit, you still have to consider constructive criticism and respect his/her feelings as you seek to provide help.
Lastly, it is rather unfortunate today that married people want to be independent in their relationships. Marriage does not give room to privacy, independence or freedom. You can’t live the way you like. Your personality directly affects your spouse. Your spouse should find happiness and fulfilment in you; you should also find fulfilment in the person of your spouse.
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