Dating is really daunting, don’t you agree? But if you’re an introvert looking for love, then it can be excruciatingly awkward, not just daunting.
They worry about how to keep the conversion going and keeping their date interested and not coming across as timid or shy.
Here are four tips for introverts who are in the first throws of dating:
1. Consider online dating
Online dating can be a lifeline into the dating scene, if done with care. For example, don’t use your personal email address but create another free email address in Google or Yahoo which doesn’t include your last name. Never give out your address or home phone number – which is just good sense.
Online dating allows you to get to know someone before you meet them face-to-face, which is always a great plus for most introverts. Also, by communicating online you can judge if they are more like you, or more out-going and chatty so you’ll be much more prepared when you finally meet up face-to-face.
2. Learn how to spot the different styles – introverts v. extraverts
If your date is an introvert they will:
tend to keep their enthusiasm to themselves so you can never really judge if you’ve hit it off with them, unless they tell you
proceed cautiously when meeting other people
prefer to socialize in small groups
listen more than they talk
think carefully before speaking (which can cause long silences)
If your date is an extravert they will:
communicate with enthusiasm, often speaking quickly in a loud voice
meet people readily and are always willing to participate in activities
talk much more than they listen
often blurt things out without thinking
3. Choose the date locations carefully
For the first few dates DON’T choose a restaurant or anywhere where the two of you just sit in front of each other for a couple of hours, as this is a disaster waiting to happen (especially if you’re BOTH introverts).
Instead, choose a coffee bar, a public place or local event where you have limited time together and are in a much more casual public atmosphere.
4. Prepare some questions beforehand
If you’re date is out-going and chatty you can happily let them talk to kingdom come. But, if your date turns out to be an introvert, like you, then you’ll have to make an effort to avoid long silences.
One way to not get stuck for conversation is make a pre-list of some ‘safe questions’ to keep the momentum going, for example:
about their family
about their job
about the interests or hobbies
about their favorite holiday spot
their favorite movie
their favorite book
if they won the lottery tomorrow, what would they do with the rest of their life?
This last question also gives you an insight into their character and hopes for the future, without you coming across as too curious or too serious.
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